Please select your home edition
Edition
RYA Dinghy & Watersports Show 2025

Scorpion Nationals at Tenby Sailing Club - Day 4

by Tom Jeffcoate 10 Aug 2011 19:22 BST 6-12 August 2011

Scorpion Nationals day 4 – sponsored by Pimms!

Racing has been cancelled today due to too much wind so instead of relaying action on the water you will have to make do with events off it. Perhaps somewhat worryingly last night saw the club packed to the rafters with competitors and spectators for the Scorpion fleet’s very own Miss Wales competition. As the pictures will no doubt testify the standard of entrants was very high and the most coveted title of the week was decided only after the most intense competition.

Following a lot of free Pimms and under the close supervision of hosts Alan Ritchie and Linda Wolfenden round one was an introduction to the “ladies” and a quick question with points awarded for smuttiness and double entendre. All entrants received a score out of 30 based on the opinions of the three judges Sarah Parsons, Rachel Rhodes and Lady Helen of Holden. Early casualties were Ivana Humpalot and Ivana Cock of East European descent, Bella End, Chasey Lain and Miss Take while the crowd favourites were Sandy Crack, Burleigh Chassis and defending champions, the Angel Twins. There was also speculation that a new video might be in the offing on the Rooster website shortly following the performance of Miss Paxo.

The second round was special talents with some standout performances by former lapdancer Burleigh Chassis and The Angel Twins. Sandy Crack was unfortunately disqualified for being related to one of the judges while Miss Take, Ruby of Ripon and Ethel Wothersprocket were also eliminated. This left 4 finalists for the swimsuit round: Burleigh Chassis, Miss Fit, Dai Jones and the Angel Twins. Each had 20 seconds to put forward their case to win however they felt most appropriate. The final decision however was swayed by the mesmerising performance of Burleigh Chassis recreating her old striptease routine and despite the blatant flashing of Miss Fit and the combined beauty of the Angel Twins the crowd voted overwhelmingly to crown her Miss Wales 2011.

And now the tongue can come out of the cheek and I’ll finish by saying that I think I’m still traumatised but I can’t remember laughing so hard for quite so long for a very long time. Hope you like the pictures!

Related Articles

Panks sail to Bloody Mary glory
Using their light-airs skills to edge their Firefly to victory Jono and Freddie Pank used their light-airs skills to edge their Firefly to victory at last Saturday's GJW Direct 49th Bloody Mary. This is the most famous pursuit race in the UK dinghy racing scene. Posted on 14 Jan
GJW Direct Bloody Mary 2025
Very light winds and sunshine for the 99 boats at Queen Mary Sailing Club Firefly sailors Jono Pank and son Freddie won the GJW Direct Bloody Mary pursuit race, the sixth leg of the Selden Sailjuice Series, held at Queen Mary Sailing Club on Saturday 11th January 2025. Posted on 11 Jan
Gillard & Gray enjoy birthday victory
Winning the Seldén Sailjuice Winter Series Fernhurst Books Draycote Dash What better way to celebrate your 40th birthday than by winning the Fernhurst Books Draycote Dash! OK, so the conditions weren't exactly scintillating, but it was a masterful one-race performance by Tom Gillard, crewed by birthday girl Rachael Gray. Posted on 7 Jan
Scorpion End of Seasons at Pennine
In search of the legendary Pennine Force 5 Twelve brave Scorpions headed north to Pennine Sailing Club on a seemingly bleak forecast in search of the legendary Pennine Force 5. Whilst we didn't get a force 5 it was a pleasantly surprising force 2 gusting 3. Posted on 6 Nov 2024
Affordable Precision: How Atto Changes the Game
Weighing just 75g and capable of measuring 250 kg working load Digitalisation has changed sailing. Technologies once reserved for Grand-Prix are permeating every level of the sport, giving sailors the ability to adopt elite racing and training practices - elevating the game across the board. Posted on 4 Nov 2024
Craftinsure Scorpion Inlands at Grafham
The conditions made for some best sailing of the year Superb sailing conditions along with excellent race organization from the Race Officer Nigel Denchfield and his team made for an incredible weekends racing for the Craftinsure Scorpion Inlands. Posted on 17 Sep 2024
TCL Scorpion Nationals at Weymouth summary
We refer to Abraham Maslow's 1943 work on the Theory of Human Motivation So it's all over bar the post Nationals analysis of where we could (and should) have done better - flicking through the photos and videos and wondering why he never seems to manage to get me both hiking out and the spinnaker filling at the same time. Posted on 9 Aug 2024
TCL Scorpion Nationals at Weymouth overall
An epic week capped by Olympic themed fancy dress party Hello from 1052, amazingly, not the oldest boat in the fleet at this Nationals at 54 years old! We think its great that old boats can still be competitive which helps to create closeness of racing all the way through the fleet. Posted on 2 Aug 2024
TCL Scorpion Nationals at Weymouth day 4
Delay allows for swimming, the AGM, watching the Olympics before racing Greetings from the back of the fleet! Here's the latest update from the underdogs of the Scorpion Fleet, also known as the bronze fleet. Posted on 1 Aug 2024
TCL Scorpion Nationals at Weymouth day 3
The swimmers, the fiddlers and the chatters A relaxed start to the morning as we knew we would be waiting for wind on the shore. The day started with a packed room listening to an engaging Adam Bowers coaching session. Posted on 31 Jul 2024