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Andy Heissig sent off in style for his wedding with a 'Stag'-atta

by Giles Chipperfield 3 Jun 2014 16:25 BST 31 May 2014
Andy Heissig sent off in style by LTSC with a 'Stag'-atta © Giles Chipperfield

Long-time LTSC member Andy Heissig is getting married to the gorgeous and presumably unsuspecting Emilie Floirat in France on 14th June, so Lymington Town Sailing Club hosted a 'Stag'-atta to send him off in style.

The approved wear of an inflatable sumo suit worked pretty well to identify the Stag for those who have not known Andy since his departure to Paris, but was possibly not ideal for dinghy sailing.

Standard LTSC Sailing Instructions were enhanced by some local variations, and any infringement earned a drive-by penalty. Penalty flags were flown in the form of the 'FFS' hoist (Flagrant inFringement of Sailing instructions), or the less serious 'WDIAHTM'. The marriage is obviously based on complete mutual understanding, since Emilie guessed immediately that this stood for Andy's other favourite phrase of 'Why Does It Always Happen To Me'. Penalties were distributed from the RIB by Heather Chipperfield or by Simon Ward from a handily-placed rusty barge, both on a strictly 'one for you then one for me basis', and the only dissent seemed to be those who were eager for a top-up penalty before they could think of anything else to do wrong.

Races were masterfully orchestrated by Nick 'Daddy Taxi' Heissig, whose flexible approach to timing meant that no-one could gain an unfair advantage by forward planning their approach to the line. The first race required anyone gaining the lead to relinquish it immediately, and therefore took slightly longer than expected. The second was out in the Solent, and divided the fleet into two counter-rotating fleets on the same course, with predictable chaos. Finally, boats had to finish at the club-line in a pre-allocated order.

Expert team-racing tactics were implemented against Team A (Andy) by Team B (everyone else), with particular spite from brother Jon Heissig in an RS400 and Richard Lilley in the revived dinghy class GP 4KSB. Dave Gorringe tried hard in his D-One, but this was perhaps too sharp a tool for the job and he was penalised early and often for both excessive speed and demonstrable incompetence.

There were, obviously, no discernible winners. Many thanks to Richard Lilley for the sumo suit, Dave Gorringe for the sailing instructions, Heather and Stephan for the RIB duty, Nick and Julia Hessig for Race Officering, James le May for working Saturday Sailing around us, Richard Keeton for the photos and everyone else for joining in and having a thoroughly good time. This may be a template for future casual events where we prove how much fun sailing can be.

Oh, and our very best wishes to Andy and Emilie. May this remind her never to let him loose on his own...

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